And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
