Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
