i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
