marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
