i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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