My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize