i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
