Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
