I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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