after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
