I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
