I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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