Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize