At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
