how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
