Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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