absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize