her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
