I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
