My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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