I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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