I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Will exercising make me less horny?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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