doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize