My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
