This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
