quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
