Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
