Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize