the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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