if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
