I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
