i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
