She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
