We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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