Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I accidentally burped into my bong.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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