never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
