whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
