yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
