Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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