i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
