is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I believe in your delicious
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
