No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
