Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
