i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
