And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
