STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
