I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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