anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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