Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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