im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
