So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
