ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
