i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
be right there i have to get my cape
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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