So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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