is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
