we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
