well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
