Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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