The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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