and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
