"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
