Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
