i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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